I happened to find out a book titled Searching for life`s meaning in library for my dissertation. It is in English, written by a Chiness scholar. The language is not as beautiful as those native speaker, but definitely easy to understand.

The experience of reading this book is so different from other books written by native English speakers. I can not help wondering why. Finally I figured out a kind of convincing explanation. I think for those people whose English is not their first language, they always express the ideas or emotion in their own way. The author and me, we somehow share a similar logical flow. That is why I can communicate in English more successfully with people from same region than people from farer region. That is why this world is full of “improper English”.

Improper English, which largely means strange expression and inaccurate words or phrases, has been baffled me on the way to become an eligible MAIJ student in Cardiff University. Sometimes it is so frustrating that I can not speak with British accent and write in proper English even though I keep practising everyday. Well, since language is not something that you can achieve in an action, all I can do is keeping practising and practising and practising. But there is something I should have done better: improve my accuracy with careful proofreading and pick up those vague grammar rules that I learned in high school–it has been such a long time since I studied grammar last time.

Oopse, it seems that I haven`t focus on the title “searching for life`s meaning”. I pleasantly surprised at finding out the English version of my favourite Chinese contemporary poems in this book and couldn`t help posting in my blog.  

The black night has given me black eyes,

But I use them to search for light. —-Gu Cheng “A Generation”

I Don`t Believe —-Bei Dao 

Baseness is the passport of the base;

Honor is the epitaph of the honorable.

Behold, in the gold-plated sky

Flutters a host of  snarled reflections of the dead.

The Ice Age has passed,

Why are iciles still covering the earth?

The Cape of Good Hope has been found,

Why are sails still jostling in the Dead Sea?

I came to this world with nothing

But paper, rope, and a shadow

To proclaim before the judgement

The voices of the judged:

Let me tell you, world,

I–don`t–believe!

Even if a thousand challengers lie beneath your feet,

Count me as the thousand-and-first.

I don`t believe the sky is blue;

I don`t believe in the echo of thunder;

I don`t believe that dreams are false;

I don`t believe in death without retribution.

If the ocean is destined to burst its dikes,

Let all the bitter water pour into my heart;

If land is destined to rise;

Let mankind choose anew the pinnacle of life.

New turns and sparkling stars

Stud the clear sky,

The symbolic words of five thousand years,

The gazing eyes of generations to come.

Can you feel the passion and anger in this poem? The poet shouted out loud for the young generation in 80s.